by Kathy Milano, Ph.D.

There’s a lot to be stressed about in the world—ecosystem destruction, wars, viruses, political mayhem, mental health crisis and more—plenty of personal stressors, current and historical, including the good kind. It’s helpful to remember that life historically has always been full of tragedy and scary news as well as wonder and heartwarming events.

Depending upon how we were raised, challenges may be experienced differently. If we walked on eggshells as a kid, we may be susceptible to walking on them now. If we were guided through stressors with empowering strategies, a positive mindset, and sturdy role models, we may be more resilient.  

However we’re dealing with them, it’s important to know how to “soothe our system” in the face of challenges. Soothing our physiology, emotions, mental chatter and energy is an essential skill on the path to sturdiness. And it can be learned, practiced and mastered, so we are steady when facing obstacles and recover quickly when any of them are triggered. 

It’s important to understand that our stress response system, designed to keep us alive and procreating, offers multiple ways to respond to challenges. Most know the “fight or flight” response which prepares us to either battle or run from the tiger or pirate we’re facing. The Challenge Response elicits what is needed to rise to the occasion while maintaining an inner calm. The Tend and Befriend Response dampens the fear response and connects us to others.

The intent of life isn’t to avoid stress. That’s just not possible. Yet, it is rare that we face an actual threat to life or procreation. Most stress arises based upon our interpretation of the tigers and pirates showing up as deadlines, bosses, illness, financial stress, world news, replays of the past hurts and projections of scary futures.

When worry becomes the norm, the body continually releases debilitating stress hormones. This habit suppresses the immune system, increases blood pressure, contributes to weight gain, messes with sleep and disrupts well-being. Here’s the good news. We have the power to change this, even if our stress response system is hyper-alert after years of hardship.

The Self-Soothe Strategy offers us a simple and effective approach to shift our stress mindset, regulate our physiology, calm our mind and emotions, and enhance self-acceptance.

HeartBreathing, an integral part of Heart Assisted Therapy, an Energy Psychology technique created by John Diepold, Ph.D., is central to the art of self-soothing. We can give it a try right now. Cross our palms upon our heart center, clear our mind and take three breaths. Flip our palms and repeat. Flip and repeat again. No need to guide our breathing as this technique naturally invites the heart to move into a coherent rhythm—soothing our body, mind, emotions and energy into a calmer, sturdier state.

The Self-Soothe Strategy can be practiced anywhere, takes only a few minutes and allows us to witness the shift from stress to calm in real time. Everyone walks on eggshells sometimes. If interested in a future that involves fewer Chicken Little responses, practice the Self-Soothe Strategy often. As we harmonize, we’re better able to contribute a calm, steady and wise presence to those we encounter.

Kathy Milano, founder of Soul Sanctuary, specializes in Energy Psychology and
Energy Medicine, Angelic Connections and Peruvian Shamanic Healing. For more information including the free Self-Soothe Strategy Playbook and MP3 recording, a step-by-step guide to how self-soothing is essential and how to build this skill, visit
www.KathyMilano.com.