November brings the expected splash of gratitude suggestions across all media sources. Portrayed as a happy gathering around a table of plenty, Thanksgiving can be a poignant mix of appreciation, comfort, annoyance and pain. It serves as a doorway into the holiday gathering season, inviting unresolved issues with self, family and friends to surface.

Every holiday gathering offers a swirling cornucopia of potential for comfort and stress. It’s important to remember that we are sitting around the table with other human beings. Everyone brings their perspective on life, unhealed hurts, expectations, joys and current needs. Some put on a cheerful face while others may spew the negativity that’s eating them. Whatever our Thanksgiving gathering or alone time looks like, consider the following approach this year.

The Gratitude Game is a playful invitation to our inner experience. Inspired by research which suggests gratitude is beneficial if effectively used, this game has a few guidelines, but no rules. We’re both the game master and the beneficiary, so we choose how and when we play. We’re exploring what brings us a sense of well-being, increased connection and true appreciation for the good in your life. It works better if we enter the game with an intention to increase our happiness and gratitude.

Less is more. Studies have found that those writing only once or twice a week in a gratitude journal experienced more happiness than those writing daily. This helps interrupt the tendency to adapt to positive events quickly and succumb to a fleeting, rote sense of appreciation. So, there’s no need to go wild with gratitude on Thanksgiving—make room for listening, laughing and loving.

Choose three reasons we appreciate someone at the table. It’s best to start with people than the delicious stuffing. It’s more impactful and also may soften that old irritation we may have brought to dinner. Whether we begin with our favorite aunt or sibling that previously bothered us is to be decided upon. Think about how this person helped us grow those positive qualities we like about ourself. Ask what we appreciate about this person and relax so the answer might arrive (and perhaps surprise us).

Take time and savor the appreciation. If surprised by a memory or awareness, it’s even better. Engage the positive and let it grow for a few moments. Realize how it feels in our bodies. Gratitude often gives us a warm inner feeling as a smile arrives, announcing those feel-good chemicals moving through our bodies.

No one arrives where they are in their lives without others. Considering the gifts we were given by those with us, as well as those that are absent, invites us to think about where we’d be without this support. Imagine if we weren’t afforded a home, food, encouraging and challenging relationships, education or the freedom to gather in thanksgiving. Reflection upon potential absence may enhance a deeper, authentic appreciation for all we take for granted.

The Gratitude Game is a personal, internal experience. It serves to orient us to what’s good in our lives as it supports well-being in our body, emotions and mind. Feel free to share some of the insights with others so they may catch warmth. If looking for a twist on the gratitude journal practice, try mailing a handwritten note of appreciation each week. Strengthening connection while enhancing well-being. That’s a win-win.

Kathy Milano, founder of Soul Sanctuary, gratefully offers Energy Psychology, Angelic Connections, Peruvian Shamanic Healing, a Sacred Feminine Mystical Path, and immersive classes and retreats. For more information, visit www.KathyMilano.com.