by Shae Marcus 

I wanted to address a topic that has come to my attention, one that holds significant importance in nurturing healthy and open relationships with our children—specifically, the challenges surrounding conversations with our tween boys. I believe that many parents find it more difficult to engage in direct conversations with our sons compared to our daughters, particularly regarding subjects such as puberty, mental health and other important aspects of their lives. 

As parents, we all want our children to feel comfortable coming to us with any questions and concerns or simply to share their thoughts and experiences. However, it seems that there may be some underlying barriers preventing these conversations from taking place as easily with our boys as they do with our girls. 

One possible reason could be societal expectations and stereotypes that have shaped our perceptions of gender roles. It’s true that, traditionally, conversations about puberty and emotional well-being have often been considered more suitable for fathers to address with their sons. This notion, though outdated, may still linger and create a perception that these discussions are somehow reserved for male figures. 

Additionally, there might be a certain level of discomfort or unease in even broaching these topics with our sons. The fear of saying the wrong thing, the concern about embarrassing or overwhelming them, or simply not knowing how to start these conversations can contribute to our hesitation. It’s essential to recognize and address these concerns within us to ensure that we create an environment where open dialogue is encouraged. 

Societal messages and peer influence play a significant role in shaping our children’s understanding of the world. Tween boys, just like girls, are bombarded with information from various sources, including friends and the media. The danger lies in the fact that this information may not always be accurate or appropriate. By establishing open lines of communication, we can help counterbalance the misinformation and guide them towards reliable sources of information. 

In the end, it’s crucial that we strive to break down these barriers and actively foster an environment of open communication with our sons. Here are a few suggestions to consider: 

1. NORMALIZE CONVERSATIONS: Make it a natural part of daily interactions to talk about feelings, emotions and various aspects of life. Encourage sons to express themselves without judgment or ridicule. 

2. CREATE A SAFE SPACE: Establish an environment where sons feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns. Assure him that he can approach us with any question or topic, and that we are there to listen to and support him. 

3. BE PROACTIVE: Initiate conversations on topics such as puberty, mental health, relationships and personal values. By taking the first step, we can help break the ice and show our willingness to discuss these important matters. 

4. BE A GOOD LISTENER: Give sons our undivided attention and actively listen to what they have to say. Validate their feelings and let them know that we hear and understand them. 

5. EDUCATE OURSELVES: Stay informed about the latest research, trends and developments relevant to each son’s age group. This will equip us with accurate information to address his questions and concerns effectively. 

Remember, the goal is to foster a relationship built on trust, where each son feels confident in confiding with their parents. By initiating and maintaining open conversations, we can guide them towards making informed decisions and help shape their overall well-being. 

Let us join hands in breaking down these barriers and fostering healthy, open relationships with our sons. Together, we can create an environment where they feel comfortable discussing any topic and know that their voices are valued. 

Shae Marcus, publisher of Natural Awakenings South Jersey, is the founder of the Holistic Health & Healing Expos and Mom to two brilliant, yet stubborn tweens, Sarah (12) and Jack (10).