Everyone wants to be happy; just ask them, “What do you want?” and they’ll say, “I want to be happy.” If you ask them what does that mean, you may get a stare or perhaps they’ll say, “You know, I want to be happy!” They might tell they want “more,” or perhaps “better,” and always, “different”. Never tell them this, “You’re never really ever going to be happy, you know—Happy.”

Buddhism teaches us that happiness is available to all of us—right here, right now. Happiness pervades the whole Universe. Most of us however are never really happy or we’re happy sometimes. That’s because either our expectations of happiness are unreasonable and unrealistic (having nothing to do with the reality of the cosmos) or, because the happiness most of us seek is “conditional”. It always requires certain “conditions to be present” in order for “happiness” to be present. One of the other reasons we never “find happiness” is because we are always “in the pursuit of happiness”; you know that inalienable right, looking for it in places we will either never find it or only for a while. We look for it in our jobs, other people, wealth, false security, possessions and certainly vacations. I can never understand why we look for it in vacations, they always end—you gotta go back to work and see if it follows you there.

The Buddha talked about a happiness that was not conditional or temporary, not dependent on any particular circumstance or situation. You can know it, you can know it now but you’ll have to let go of the way you think it’s possible. In Zen we call it, “Learning to be Content”. It involves giving up your “pursuit of happiness” and looking for it in persons, places or things, and being “present” to it in the here and now and the circumstances and situations of your life as they are now. It’s a spiritual practice I call, “Just take care of business.” Just take care of your life: The people in your life, your family, friends, your neighborhood, your commitments. Stop looking for a better life, family, friends, address and commitments. This is what it really means “to be present”. You know all that spiritual practice you’ve been doing to “be mindful”, meditating, doing yoga; it’s always really been about “being present to your life just as it is and just as it isn’t.” You begin by being grateful for what you have, and stop looking for “more,” “better,” “different.”

Like they said in the 60s, “Love the one you’re with,” and that includes the life you got. What would your life look like if you were really invested in taking care of it instead of always trying to replace it? Now don’t get all up and in my face, I agree there are some people, things, and especially behaviors you need to let go of, but be careful you don’t throw the “teacher” or “angel” out with the bath water.

Now aren’t you happy?

I Love you.

Seijaku Roshi is an abbot, Zen priest, parent, author, keynote speaker and the spiritual leader and founder of the Pine Wind Zen Community located at 863 McKendimen Rd., in Shamong, NJ. For more information, visit PineWind.org.