by Lauren Simon 

In one way or another, we are often tending to the needs of others before our own; this may sound very familiar if you are a parent or caregiver. Caring for children, an ill family member or even pets are just some of the ways we dedicate ourselves to others. 

Women are especially central to this caregiver role. Though we may forget to do so in our busy lives, taking time to cultivate self-love for our own spiritual health is just as crucial as investing time into our loved ones. 

Particularly for women caring for someone with an injury, illness or disability, caregiver stress is quite common. The Office on Women’s Health emphasizes the prevalence of major health issues as a result of the condition. The emotional and physical toll that caregiving can exact may lead to anxiety and depression, a weakened immune system, obesity, high risk of chronic disease and challenges with memory or being able to focus. Feeling overwhelmed or alone, weight loss or gain, loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed and feelings of worry or sadness are signs that could indicate this stressful state. 

Because caregiving bears an impact on the body and mind, taking time to nourish our spirit is absolutely necessary to thriving in all areas of life. We call this level of care “self-love”, and it is so much more than just a bit of leisure time added to our schedule. 

An article by Deepak Chopra defines self-love as a holistic state of being. It’s the appreciation born from our own physical, psychological and spiritual growth, and involves intentionality toward our highest good. This internal connection begins fundamentally within our thoughts and actions, like planting seeds in rich soil, and blossoms into acceptance of our personal strengths and weaknesses. 

Cultivating self-love is gradual and we can deliberately build upon this appreciation for ourselves each day. Fueling our own spiritual health allows us to be better caregivers to our loved ones and those we care for. Without caring for ourselves, we have much less to offer others. 

Mindfulness is one way we can begin this journey to self-love. Staying in touch with what we think, feel and want connects us with who we truly are and results in a sense of self-love. Specific mindfulness practices, such as loving-kindness meditation, generate these feelings of appreciation and acceptance when practiced consistently. 

We often hear of how important self-care is to our well-being, and it is certainly not exempt from the process of developing self-love. Regular exercise, wholesome nutrition, allowing proper time for sleep and engaging both in enjoyable activities and healthy social interactions are all ways we can care for ourselves on a daily basis. 

Especially true to caregivers, we can be terribly hard on ourselves. The expectations and criticism we may bombard ourselves with can contribute to this mentality. Forgiving ourselves creates opportunities to learn and grow from our experiences instead of punishing ourselves for perceived failures. A recent article in Medical News Today suggests tapping into our kind inner voice rather than the harsh inner voice that fosters self-criticism. In other words, talk to oneself like talking to a friend or someone else we care about. 

Practicing self-kindness also involves setting boundaries. Saying no to the activities and relationships that harm our well-being is key in cultivating self-love. Stepping away from stressful relationships and commitments can help us to evaluate if they are truly supporting our well-being and our journey. 

This also encourages us to recognize who we want to surround ourselves with. Engage with those that lift us up and support the best version of ourselves. A recent article in Psychology Today stresses the love and respect we develop for ourselves when we choose the healthiest interactions for our own well-being. 

Lastly, live life with intention. If we live intentionally, our actions will align accordingly, and we will surely be proud of ourselves for doing so. Embodying purpose and passion for life is a cornerstone of nurturing self-love. 

In any caregiver role we play in our life, cultivating self-love enriches our own light, and we can then share this light and love with those we care for. This personal investment in ourselves is also an investment in others.  

Lauren Simon is a freelance writer with a passion for holistic health and a contributor to Natural Awakenings magazine.