Erin Taylor, parenting coach
I have a 3-month-old son and an 8-year-old daughter, and my husband was recently deployed overseas. I’ve been struggling with my daughter, who has been having a lot of emotional outbursts lately. She says she misses her daddy and even said she wished that her brother would “go back where he came from!” When she cries and carries on, it makes me very stressed and I try to calm her down, but it only seems to make her worse. Help!
Dear Frazzled Mom,
It sounds like there have been quite a few transitions in your home lately with your husband deploying and your newborn baby’s arrival. That’s a lot for your daughter to deal with, and I imagine that it’s causing some heavy emotions for her. These emotions are natural as she tries to make sense of her Daddy being gone and having to share your attention with her new baby brother. When she has these outbursts, remember that her emotions are OK and that she is likely just trying to express them. Then, allow her to get the emotions out of her little body. After she has calmed down, sit with her and tell her you notice she seems to get easily upset lately. If she is unsure why, suggest that maybe it could be because she misses her daddy or because she is adjusting to her new baby brother, and see if that helps you and her to gain some clarity.
Our children feel things as strongly and sometimes more so than we do, and it is our job to help them learn how to handle those strong emotions and not try to stifle them. Good luck and thank you to your husband for his honorable service to our country.
Erin Taylor is a wife, therapist, writer, mom, and PCI-Certified Parent Coach with It Takes a Village Parent Coaching, LLC. For more information, contact her at 609-605-3844, email [email protected], or visit VillageParentCoaching.com.